Where do I start? Does it matter?
In the two weeks since I last wrote, I have been horribly sick for 3 or 4 days; visited a friend in Tucson; caught up 2 months worth of my husband's business finances; steam-cleaned my carpets; interviewed for a training position; went to a birthday party sans kids and stayed up til 3am; started intense weight training and longer long runs in preparation for my October marathon; ended one job and started another; and today I write this as I wait for my sister to arrive and drop off my four young nephews, who will stay at our house today and all day tomorrow while she is away.
That all just sounds like a bunch of excuses for not writing, however. Yet I feel as though so much has occurred, I have no emotions left to process it all. I mean, even the steam cleaning felt emotional. I don't think my carpets have been this clean since we moved in to our house eight years ago; maybe once before the kids arrived? That thought brings both happiness (my floor is finally clean!) and shame (think of the filth we've lived in!).
The intestinal virus I got left me so fatigued I couldn't drum up any emotions other than the hope that it would finally leave me alone to recover. I became so dehydrated my husband almost took me to the hospital. I thought of the large deductible we would have to shell out, and rallied enough energy to attempt putting down more Gatorade and fend off such drastic measures. Eventually that worked. This made the third time this year that I caught such a bug , and I'm ready to start eating Activa yogurt daily, or try colon cleansing, just to avoid another one.
Staying up past midnight for the party and the finances - well, if being sick taught me nothing else, it taught me that I cannot simultanously increase my marathon training and decrease my hours of sleep (and then add a playdate with friends recently ill). Note to self. Bad combination.
So that leaves the job change. Finished my last day as personal trainer at the corporate fitness facility of Schaller Anderson, now turned Aetna, in Tempe. I made some neat friendships in the past year; I am sad to be leaving them. However, I am trying to look at the positive. That was a season, on to the next. Maybe this is the opening I needed to pursue the writing career I've been slowly working on, as well as continue some training on the side. I'm excited to start working on the website copy for IronBody's new interactive website (see www.iron90.com for the current site); and finish writing two booklets for my husband's coaching business (I also helped write copy for his updated website, www.victorencinas.com, that premiers on Monday!); and maybe some more time to add to this blog, just for fun?? I love to enjoy all three of the activities I love - writing, running, and training. And then I think of the other, major hat I wear. Maybe I spend some of that extra time reading and playing with Jude and Audrey, who got a little ignored last month while I've worked and written and ran extra hours. I'll let you know how it goes!
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2 comments:
Whew! Laura, you've got so much fabulous drive and ambition to serve and create, so many multiple gifts. I remember when I had a newborn and a 3-year-old, trying to develop as a freelance writer and support my husband in his profession, be active in church, etc. I eventually had to let go of the writing during that season of life, because it was too much, I was utterly exhausted and tending to get sick too often. (About 5 years later, I was able to return to writing, there was more time.) I think that was probably my first awareness that I needed to take care of myself if I was going to take care of my family.
I just want to encourage you to take consistent care of you, Laura, and persevere in trying to find the balance that works for your life and everyone in it.
Thank you for your sweet and encouraging words, Ellen. I am so glad to hear that you did find more time later! For the moment, am planning to relish a week or two of doing work from home instead of hours away. I too may have to make a hard decision to let something good go. I wouldn't mind letting go of pot and pan washing, or mediation of kid fights, or late-night accounting...but finding reliable replacements is so tricky! :-)
Thank you, again, Ellen - your wise words are balm to this busy mom.
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